Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
