can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
