U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
