My room smells like vodka and shame
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
