come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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