I hate all girls vehemently.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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