so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
