Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
