walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Couch. On fire.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
