What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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