do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
