problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize