Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
