Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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