and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize