That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
