I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
