Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize