Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
