forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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