I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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