Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
