And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
