i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He better not be in your backpack
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
