Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
