is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Be still, my beating vagina.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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