im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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