yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
