I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
