Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
