please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
