WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
