the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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