I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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