I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
did i just pee glitter
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
