my sisters under your porch take her home
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
