Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
