the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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