is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
