I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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