i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
