Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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