D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
