I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
