your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
