Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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