I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
