i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Say something about gay babies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
