Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize