i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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