i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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