If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
