I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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