You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
