I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
