i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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