And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
