the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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