I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
