sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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