they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
