i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize