guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
