sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In other news, I just burned my penis
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
