Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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