Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
