He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
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SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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