omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
