and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
